Are you blogging cause you don't have a life?

Yeah, that's what came to me when I was re-reading Tawfeik el Hakeem's "yawmyat na-eb fee elaryaf" or (diary's of a district attorney in country side).


He says he wrote these diaries out of boredom when he wasn't working on a case. Amazingly, from his diaries I got the impression that he worked hard, nights and days, which proves that working hard still leaves you bored if you don't have something on the side.

That's is so true, I found that I have to have something unrelated to work what so ever just to have fun outside of my work.

the funny thing is that now I am much busier than ever, yet I am being engaged in more and more activities, that make me more motivated to work harder.



yet there still are some times where one finds himself bored that's why I am writing these lines!!!

Qué Será, Será

Does Mona Lisa wants* to get married? 3

So, again, back to the same subject, that has been bothering me forever

But today with a totally new approach,

Yesterday, I was chatting with my close friend from college, who is getting married soon, she is in the same boat as me, doing her PhD alone away from home.
I told her how I feel about not getting married up till now, and she replied: enjoy every moment you have now and cherish these precious years when you are not married, it's a blessing.

Next day, I am talking to another friend of mine, married with children and pregnant with her third child, and she said, cherish these years when you are free, no demanding husband, with screaming and crying kids.

Today I was thinking their words over, then I smiled and said to myself, I know, I am living my happiest days ever, I am free, no husband.
However, I still long for company, and I know that this company will sometimes get on my nerves, just as I will get on his nerves.

Then Nelly's children song kept on coming back to me: "kan fee farasha zehnana, labsah gonela menakata..."
And I said to myself, I am now this free butterfly, I will let myself enjoy every moment of these wonderful years of my PhD and not wait for that someone, if I am destined to meet him it'll happen, and ......

Qué Será, Será..............Whatever will be, will be......

Finally, I am saying it, and believing in it.

*Grammatical correction: wants should be want, I mean: Does Mona Lisa want to get married?
but since I wrote it wants in the first two posts I wrote it here the same way.

come to think about it, it's true....

Honest criticism is hard to take particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Does Mona Lisa wants to get married? 2

So, does she? one time she thinks she does, and the other she believes she doesn't. It's the willingness to give up her dream of being such an important shot in science.
But when she thinks about it, why does she want to be an important shot in science?
is it self satisfaction, or is it greed, or does it have something more valuable to it?
why is she seeking PhD anyway, and why here in the States?
is it the adventure, is it being stubborn?
I was once told I am the most stubborn person ever, I didn't understand, as I know I am not, so she said (the one who told me so) you are not stubborn with people about your opinion, you are stubborn with yourself, you want to force yourself into too many things, and into doing what is hard and difficult, just to challenge yourself.
I thought about it.....Well she is sort of right, I did make some choices in life that made it a little less easy than it could be, or as I like to put it in Robert Frost words: "two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."
Yet I tend to be simple, I believe that the most intelligent answer to a question is the simplest one you can think of.

Back to Mona Lisa and her marriage, I think both me as the 9 years old and the 15 years old girls* are right, there is no contradiction,
in my opinion, I agree with me as a 15 years old girl, when you get married you need not stay home, and it is not the end of your job,
YET it's "the" biggest limitation to your pre-set ambition of your career future, and the start of many sacrifices you will ultimately make for your family on the expense of your career.
Returning back to me as a 9 years old girl, I agree with me then too, I still believe that when God blesses me with a child, I would definitely stay home for a couple of years to take care of my baby. It's too stressful to be a full time mom to an infant and at the same time a full time career woman.

Oh my God, as I am writing these words, it just darned on me, the words of one of the scientist in bioinformatics, she was awarded in a conference I attended for her lifetime achievements in physics and bioinformatics, she said that she had to make a shift in her career, and to struggle with learning how to use computers, and abc of programming as that was a more convenient career for her after having her kids, she had to spend more time home, and computer was her only way to it, she can work home, be with her kids, control her time spent working more than being a scientist in the lab with crazy hours.

Oh me, that gives me lots of hope, but then I am back to square one, do I have time to search for my future husband, I don't believe he will come by on a white horse as prince charming, just because I am no snow white myself.

But who knows, may be he would be "riding" a car and we have a crash!! a little pessimistic, I agree, okay let him be walking down the street and I hit him with my car...Okay okay more pessimistic, anyway where ever he is, he'll find me, I hope I can see then that this is him and not just leave..

*see Does Mona Lisa wants to get married? (the first post)