Big girls don't cry

How many of you have heard these words?

whether you are the girl being told these words, or
the one telling them or
a guy who heard about them, or
actually a guy whose society doesn't think of as a man unless he doesn't cry.

Mothers, and parents generally, think they'll raise a strong, independent kid if they tell them those words. Sorry folks, you are wrong.

Why is crying considered a sign of weakness, rather than sensitivity?

For all those who were denied to cry in their early or late childhood, let it out, and cry.

to be continued.......

Implosion......Is it too late??

Is it too late to post something that happened a week and a half ago?


Late or not, I am writing this so I can always remember the details of the event, although how I felt is something that I don't think I will forget.

It was a novel experience for me to watch live a building being imploded. I was excited to see something that previously I could only watch on TV.
A big fancy tent near where I live (only for VIP) was prepared a day before the implosion, a big stage, tables, chairs,.....etc, as it's the best place to watch the implosion, so I decided to go and watch just outside the tent. Although I had to get up at 6:00 am, on a Sunday morning I was still going.

So there I was, an eye witness of the implosion of a historical hospital in Memphis, a hospital where the King, Elvis Presley died.
First, there was long speeches, I got bored, it's 6:30 am, the Sun is almost rising, when are they going to start, I was sleepy I couldn't stand any longer so, I sat on the ground, although it was cold grass. I was growing impatient, I wanted to see the implosion. Then, someone from the crowd told me that they'll blow it up at sunrise at exactly 6:45am, to signify the sunrise of the future research area and the progress that will come after tearing down the building, hmm... That sounds romantic. Finally it was 6:45am, everyone is counting down:" five, four, three, two , one,....." then.....silence, and suddenly a very loud sound of bombing and light out of the windows of the old building, the ground was vibrating, I stood up as the vibrations were too much for someone sitting on the ground, the building came down in just a few seconds.......then the crowd was cheering.......I cheered a little with them, the dust was so heavy and all over the place where the building used to be........
For me it was a terrifying, may be terrifying is not the right word, but I can't get the right word to express how I felt then, but the only thing I know is that I will remember that strange feeling I had although I can't find a word for it.

The last sunrise on Baptist hospital

The LOUD sounds could only be heard and felt...

Dying while standing, collapsing inwardly.



Gone with the wind............

A message to whom might read this,

if you have suggestions for what you might feel if you watched this live, share them with me, may be one of them describes what words can't say.

Dreams..........

Nothing solid is known about dreams, lots of studies, lots of efforts to understand what are dreams, how they affect us, and even where are we while dreaming? Are we soul and body in bed or our souls are in that fairly land of dreams, what do we do, are we floating souls like one of my friends likes to call herself while dreaming, is it the unconscious mind releasing free, is it the mind getting rid of the events of the day to have space for new material, all these were proposed and of course Freud and dreams which he called the "royal road to the unconscious", provided the best access to our unconscious life and the best illustration of its "logic", which was different than the logic of conscious thought.
For me I regard dreams as merely dreams, something I enjoy, sometimes when I crave for some sort of food I get it in my dreams, if I saw a couple of movies and I liked them a totally "Nourtan's" version is on my "dream screen", my brother loved my dreams he always said they are good scripts for movies.

Yesterday was a long tiring day for me, I wanted to go to sleep but I was lying in bed but not sleepy yet, too tired to sleep. I went into short sleep where my mom was there, I was lying on the same bed I am in, I know she is so far away, but she came to my bed, slept next to me, gave me a hug, I felt her warmth and tenderness, and rocked me gently to sleep. I woke up shortly after this dream, realized I was dreaming, but I was ready to go to sleep. Thanks mum.....The dream was beautiful.