I can't = I won't

This is me talking to myself, and confusing both of them!

"So I have been running away from you, hiding behind: I can't,
I am always afraid of something, anything, just to have that fear around me, paralyzing my thinking, then I panic, and cry, then insist that I can't face you,

but finally I did it, I finally understood, that I can't = I won't, and if I believe that I can, then I will.

Talking with you gave me my strength back, I love you and I never stopped, may be I went away for a while, may be I will go away again, I am not sure, but now when I am close to you, or at least trying to be close to you, I am all here for you. "