Become happy why not?

2008-12-08T10:29:00.003-06:00

Although I claimed that I'm back to blogging it didn't happen so far, but I came across this article this morning. This article was written by late Magdi Mehanna in February of 2007, it talks about happiness and specifically in Egypt. I enjoyed reading it and I hope you enjoy it too.
Note: I apologize that the article is in Arabic and my blog is mostly written in English, I wish someday, I can translate it in a good way.

فى الممنوع

عندما أخبرني الزميل مجدي الجلاد رئيس تحرير «المصري اليوم» بفكرة هذا العدد، وخيرني بين أن أكتب بما يخدم الفكرة، وبين أن أكتب في أي فكرة أخري بعيدة عنها، أعترف بأنني وقعت في «حيص بيص»،

وحيرتي بلغت مداها عندما طرحت علي نفسي السؤال: في أي الموضوعات سأكتب، إذا لم أكتب - كما تعودت - عن مشاكل الناس وهمومهم، والقضايا التي تشغلهم، وتلك المطروحة علي الرأي العام، فهل سأكتب عن طريقة عمل المحشي؟

ثم أقنعت نفسي بأن بين مشاكل الناس وبين المحشي، مئات وآلاف الموضوعات والأفكار التي يمكن تناولها بالكتابة.

مثلاً.. كم واحداً منا سأل نفسه: هل أنا سعيد بحياتي؟ وإذا كانت إجابته القاطعة هي أنه غير سعيد، فهل سأل نفسه: وكيف أغيرها؟ ثم هل حاول تغييرها بالفعل، أم أنه أراد مواصلة الحياة بالطريقة التي اعتاد عليها، وهي التي يعرفها معظم المصريين، طريقة «قصف العمر»، أي أنك عايش، ومش عايش! أو عايش كده وكده!

أكاد أجزم بأن الغالبية العظمي من المصريين، وبنسبة تقترب من نسب الاستفتاءات الرئاسية ٩.٩٩% لا تعرف السعادة، ولم تتذوق طعمها، فهي سلعة غريبة عليهم، وبعيدة عن متناول أيديهم.

كم واحداً سأل نفسه: إذا لم أكن سعيداً، فلماذا أعيش؟ وما فائدة الحياة بدون سعادة؟ وحتي الذين عاشوا السعادة وتذوقوا طعمها، فقد عاشوها لدقائق أو بضع ساعات قليلة طوال حياتهم وعمرهم المديد، فالسعادة تقاس بالثواني وباللحظات وليس بالأيام والأسابيع، وهؤلاء وضعهم أفضل كثيراً من الذين يسمعون عن السعادة، لكنهم لم يعيشوها.

والسعادة لا يشترط أن تكون في الحب فقط، فهي يمكن أن تكون في العمل وفي الصداقة، وفي القدرة علي العطاء، وفي أشياء أخري كثيرة.

المهم هو أن نعرف كيف نصل إليها، وأن نجعل منها هدفاً لا يغيب لحظة عن مرمي عيوننا، وأن نعرف كيف نسعد أنفسنا، حتي ولو بالمحايلة وبالضحك عليها وبخداعها إن أمكن.

وقد يقول قائل: يا أخي.. كيف تطالبنا بأن نكون سعداء، وكل ما حولنا لا يدعو إلي السعادة، انظر إلي ارتفاع الأسعار وغلاء المعيشة، وإلي الطريقة التي يحكمنا بها الحزب الوطني، وإلي.. وإلي.

وهذا الكلام حقيقي وغير حقيقي، فهو حقيقي لأن هناك واقعاً نعيشه ونلمسه كل يوم، ولا نستطيع أن نتهرب منه، وأصبح بالنسبة لنا كالقضاء والقدر، لأننا استسلمنا له، ولا نرغب في تغييره، أو أننا نرغب في تغييره، لكن لا نملك القدرة علي ذلك.

وهو غير حقيقي، لأن السعادة شيء داخلي، داخل نفوسنا، فإذا أردنا أو قررنا أن نكون سعداء فلا توجد قوة علي وجه الأرض ستمنعنا من الوصول إلي هذا الهدف.

تماماً مثل الإنسان الذي يفشل في وظيفة ما، فلا يقرر تغيير هذه الوظيفة، إنما يقرر السفر إلي الخارج ليعمل في نفس الوظيفة، فتكون النتيجة هي الفشل الذريع، لأن الفشل بداخله ولا يعرف طريقاً غيره، فهو يحمل الفشل معه أينما ذهب، وما الظروف المحيطة به سوي الشماعة التي يريد أن يعلق عليها فشله.

السعادة كذلك، إذا قررنا أن نكون سعداء فلن يمنعنا شيء من بلوغها، فهي قرار داخلي لا تشارك في صنعه الحكومات.

السعادة هي أغلي قيمة في الحياة، ومن لم يعشها فلم يعش الحياة، وحكم علي نفسه بالموت وهو حي.

أرجوكم - في عيد الحب - ابحثوا عن السعادة بداخلكم، وعندما تعثرون عليها لا تجعلوها تغيب لحظة عن عيونكم.

14-2-2007
عدد مصر الحلوه

back to blogging

2008-11-20T19:34:00.003-06:00

so after almost a year, exactly a long 11 months, of not blogging, I decided to go back.
I don't think that I have any regular readers, upon checking my status reports it always shows people coming to my blog to look up one thing or another.
Anyhow, since I started blogging in July of 2005, I have always wrote just in case someone passing by might read it. Plus, it is such a relief to write about what is on your mind, it easies your mind and heart.
I am going to go ahead and publish some posts I was writing earlier and never got around to finishing them and publishing them, these I will publish as soon as possible ASAP :)))
ASAP is a funny story in the lab I work in, where my boss starts and finishes every email or talk on the phone says ASAP, which reminded me when I was on a road trip a few months ago between Memphis and Cincinnati I saw in Jackson, TN a place with aprons saying ASAP: as Southern as possible and a mug that you can give to your boss saying I will get it done ASAP (as slow as possible).

Short life

2008-01-02T20:32:00.000-06:00

3 months old girl passed away today....
she was the only daughter of my colleague,
she struggled with heart problems, among other problems, since her birth.

Today was the first time I see her, it was in pictures they took just a few days ago,

They finally took some pictures just on Sunday when she was doing better and all the tubes were taken out of her little body.
Her mum, my colleague's wife, said, through teary eyes , " she was doing so good in the last few days" ... " I was just holding her in my hands as she was crying from a diaper rash and I wanted to sooth her, she quietened a little, and then she........" the poor mother could not continue as she goes on crying her beloved little daughter, her first joy.

Such a short life,
the little poor girl was struggling from day one...
the doctors didn't want to perform on her from day one saying she was a hopeless case,
but her parents had hope she would survive,
and so she did,
it was amazing how she keeps on going every day,
every day the sun rose on that girl alive was a miracle,
we, all the lab, with multi nationalities and different beliefs, prayed for her to become better.

Her father's parents came all the way from India to help out with taking care of the little girl, she was on medications around the clock,
which was too much for her parents
both are researchers whose time is already limited.

I went to pay respects today to her parents,
I realized although we all express similarly our sadness,
our submission to God's will differs.
To endure and deal with the grief and overwhelming sadness of loss of the beloved ones, believing in God's will makes it a little easier to accept the fact that they are gone.

Yet my colleague and his wife and their parents were handling it very well for the first day.
This was a learning opportunity for me to understand more about reincarnation in Hindu belief.
I just wished they wouldn't be so sad about their loss being unfair for the little girl and unfair for them,
it is just God's will...those were my words, and that he gave you a gift or a trust and he took it back, and something good will come out of this.....
but I don't think my words were any condolence for them....

The sadness around me reminded me with a very old story in my culture and summarizes the Islamic belief about life and death. It is a story that always helped me through similar times when I lost my grandma, and my two beloved dear uncles.

It is told that one of the greatest believers in God, had a baby boy, who was very ill, her husband comes in every night from work and checks on the child and they try their best to sooth the baby's pain. One night, it was time, and the little boy passed away, the father came in, and asked about the child, the mother told him, he is resting, the father thought his baby must be doing better because he did not hear him cry, she told him just leave him tonight resting, he is fine now. The next morning she told her husband, if our neighbor gave you something precious to take care of it and keep it until he is back, he trusted you with this trust, now would not you do your best to take care of it, the husband answered, yes of course, and then she continued, and when he comes back and asks you for it, wouldn't you give it back.... then her husband nodded, as he understood that his child was gone. These two believers submitted to God's will and are still known up till now for their story, after the loss of their only child then, God granted them 11 (eleven) sons and daughters, all grew up to be strong believers and great men and women.....
submission is hard, but it helps.....

If we realize that we all belong to God*,
our life on this earth is a short journey,
we do our best to live every day to its fullness,
and to take care to spend it in usefulness of our minds, souls and bodies,
to have fun, to have rest, to work towards something that will benefit others as well as ourselves,
in brief.....to enjoy the "grant of life".

It is never easy to let go of the beloved ones,
especially when you realize that you are not meeting them again,
to ease it for myself when my uncle, who was so close to me, passed away,
I convinced myself that he was on a long trip,
and one day I will be with him again,
growing up, yes I believe I will, and hopefully it will be in heavens.

It is so difficult to deal with every day things after losing the beloved ones,
small things like calling after a football game to say hey, we won,
or picking up playing cards in a store to challenge him a cards game on Friday when we met weekly,
or to forget that he would not show up for your next birthday, neither when you are planning your wedding...

Submission to God's will is such a difficult exam that we all go through when we face death of a dear one.....

May God be with my colleague and his family through their difficult time.

May His words (Quran: sura 2, aya 152 to 157) bring comfort to those who lost the dear ones.

God says what means the following in English:

[152] Remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me and do not reject Faith in Me. [153] Seek help with patient Perseverance and Prayer: for Allah is with those who patiently persevere....[155] Be sure We shall test you with ......... loss in goods or lives ........ but We will give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.
[156] Who say, when afflicted with calamity: *"To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return". [157] They are those on whom (descend) blessings from their Lord, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.

Playing the Game

2007-11-25T02:13:00.000-06:00

I used to be real good at playing the game:
you might wonder what game?
the game of life and success.
When I was in college, I was not the most successful of my group, yet I didn't have the connections that some of my group had with professors, i.e being close relatives of the professors, yet I managed to play it smart, and play by the game rules, as I didn't want to waste my time challenging the rules, instead, I played the game, and looking back now, I played it well, real well.
Ewh! that was my reaction when I look back and remember how I acted when I was working, when I first started work, I challenged ALL the rules of the game, as I didn't understand the game, and am still trying to,
now a new game that I am trying to understand its rule, once I get the rules right, and understand them completely then I can play the game and score real high, is it this how any game is played!

My dreams came true

2007-06-26T16:52:00.000-05:00

My parents are now with me for a visit,

They would not believe how happy I am that they are here,

The other day, I was in one room and my parents were in another room, and I had a smile on my face, you know why?
because I could hear them talking in the other room, I don't know about what, but just hearing their voices gave me peace.
I love you my family, I don't think I knew that I loved you that much.

To all of you who are living with their families, and don't really appreciate it,
stop for a second and imagine living alone thousands of miles away,
with a busy schedule that doesn't allow you to talk to them on a good time because of time differences, and you can't see them except for one month a year.

When I was a young girl I used to hear the widowers say that they miss their husbands' voices or what they called "7ess",
I didn't understand them then,
............................................................ now I understand.

Dreams one more time

2007-05-08T20:12:00.000-05:00

Again I dream vividly of my beloved ones, I could actually feel them around me,
I dream of my dad sitting at the tip of my bed waking me up just he used to do,
I dream of my mum going around tidying up things in my room and calling my name to wake me up,
I dream of my brother coming in the room and taking something out of the drawer and telling me a long story that I hear nothing of as I am asleep and he is trying to wake me up.
then I feel my mum's gentle touch on my face....
I miss them so much, I woke up in the middle of the dream, thinking it was truly true.

There is no one in the whole world like your loved ones, your family loves you, they support you endlessly,
I was blessed by my friends too, who love and support me endlessly, I talk to them on the phone where we are miles and miles away, and they give me all the support I need without asking, we are never jealous of each other never give bad advice,
if my friends don't know what to say, they say hang on there, you will make it.....
.
Thank God for my family and sincere friends.

Premonition

2007-03-16T23:56:00.000-05:00

I went to the movies tonight, undecided which to see, or even what is in theaters these days.
I found that tonight was premier of Premonition, I already saw the TV ads of Sandra Bullock's Premonition and I looked the word up back then, which means warn in advance or anticipation of an event without conscious reason which is more like what the movie is about.

I decided this must be a good movie.
But was it?
I don't think so:
The first thing that stroke me is that the movie has a strong religious theme, yet anti science theme. It shows doctors as unbelievers, who have no solution to our problems, and that they actually worsen them, something that greatly opposes the basic western thinking/ideology, and also against scientific thinking, which doesn't necessarily mean to deny religion, a rather weak point in the movie.

The movie has a beautiful message to deliver, but there could have been better presentation of it's message.

Although I didn't like certain themes in the movie, I loved the religious emphasis, this is greatly because I believe in signs sent by God, and I believe that listening to these signs makes a lot of difference.

This also reminded me that once long long ago when I was a child, I asked my grandma, why do people make real bad mistakes in life, why don't they just obey God, she smiled and didn't say anything.
But now I know why, it's because they don't want to obey Him, they have a rebellion inside them that they want to follow, guess who? he is the most ancient rebellion of all ... Satan

Are you blogging cause you don't have a life?

2006-12-28T22:20:00.000-06:00

Yeah, that's what came to me when I was re-reading Tawfeik el Hakeem's "yawmyat na-eb fee elaryaf" or (diary's of a district attorney in country side).

He says he wrote these diaries out of boredom when he wasn't working on a case. Amazingly, from his diaries I got the impression that he worked hard, nights and days, which proves that working hard still leaves you bored if you don't have something on the side.

That's is so true, I found that I have to have something unrelated to work what so ever just to have fun outside of my work.

the funny thing is that now I am much busier than ever, yet I am being engaged in more and more activities, that make me more motivated to work harder.

yet there still are some times where one finds himself bored that's why I am writing these lines!!!

Qué Será, Será

2006-12-19T22:39:00.000-06:00

Does Mona Lisa wants* to get married? 3

So, again, back to the same subject, that has been bothering me forever

But today with a totally new approach,

Yesterday, I was chatting with my close friend from college, who is getting married soon, she is in the same boat as me, doing her PhD alone away from home.
I told her how I feel about not getting married up till now, and she replied: enjoy every moment you have now and cherish these precious years when you are not married, it's a blessing.

Next day, I am talking to another friend of mine, married with children and pregnant with her third child, and she said, cherish these years when you are free, no demanding husband, with screaming and crying kids.

Today I was thinking their words over, then I smiled and said to myself, I know, I am living my happiest days ever, I am free, no husband.
However, I still long for company, and I know that this company will sometimes get on my nerves, just as I will get on his nerves.

Then Nelly's children song kept on coming back to me: "kan fee farasha zehnana, labsah gonela menakata..."
And I said to myself, I am now this free butterfly, I will let myself enjoy every moment of these wonderful years of my PhD and not wait for that someone, if I am destined to meet him it'll happen, and ......

Qué Será, Será..............Whatever will be, will be......

Finally, I am saying it, and believing in it.

*Grammatical correction: wants should be want, I mean: Does Mona Lisa want to get married?
but since I wrote it wants in the first two posts I wrote it here the same way.

come to think about it, it's true....

2006-12-09T23:53:00.000-06:00

Honest criticism is hard to take particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Does Mona Lisa wants to get married? 2

2006-12-09T22:20:00.000-06:00

So, does she? one time she thinks she does, and the other she believes she doesn't. It's the willingness to give up her dream of being such an important shot in science.
But when she thinks about it, why does she want to be an important shot in science?
is it self satisfaction, or is it greed, or does it have something more valuable to it?
why is she seeking PhD anyway, and why here in the States?
is it the adventure, is it being stubborn?
I was once told I am the most stubborn person ever, I didn't understand, as I know I am not, so she said (the one who told me so) you are not stubborn with people about your opinion, you are stubborn with yourself, you want to force yourself into too many things, and into doing what is hard and difficult, just to challenge yourself.
I thought about it.....Well she is sort of right, I did make some choices in life that made it a little less easy than it could be, or as I like to put it in Robert Frost words: "two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."
Yet I tend to be simple, I believe that the most intelligent answer to a question is the simplest one you can think of.

Back to Mona Lisa and her marriage, I think both me as the 9 years old and the 15 years old girls* are right, there is no contradiction,
in my opinion, I agree with me as a 15 years old girl, when you get married you need not stay home, and it is not the end of your job,
YET it's "the" biggest limitation to your pre-set ambition of your career future, and the start of many sacrifices you will ultimately make for your family on the expense of your career.
Returning back to me as a 9 years old girl, I agree with me then too, I still believe that when God blesses me with a child, I would definitely stay home for a couple of years to take care of my baby. It's too stressful to be a full time mom to an infant and at the same time a full time career woman.

Oh my God, as I am writing these words, it just darned on me, the words of one of the scientist in bioinformatics, she was awarded in a conference I attended for her lifetime achievements in physics and bioinformatics, she said that she had to make a shift in her career, and to struggle with learning how to use computers, and abc of programming as that was a more convenient career for her after having her kids, she had to spend more time home, and computer was her only way to it, she can work home, be with her kids, control her time spent working more than being a scientist in the lab with crazy hours.

Oh me, that gives me lots of hope, but then I am back to square one, do I have time to search for my future husband, I don't believe he will come by on a white horse as prince charming, just because I am no snow white myself.

But who knows, may be he would be "riding" a car and we have a crash!! a little pessimistic, I agree, okay let him be walking down the street and I hit him with my car...Okay okay more pessimistic, anyway where ever he is, he'll find me, I hope I can see then that this is him and not just leave..

*see Does Mona Lisa wants to get married? (the first post)

Does Mona Lisa want to get married?

2006-11-25T13:52:00.000-06:00

Mona Lisa Smile

The title attracted my attention as my brother used to tell me I have Mona Lisa smile,
I am watching the movie as I am writing the post,
it drove me to think, what am I doing with my life, am I living it, or just watching it go by,
what do I want,
what do I need,
who am I,
seems important questions yet are too silly when I listen to them,

Am I a girl, or a 27 years-old girl, or a graduate student, or an Egyptian, or ........ What?
I know I am all of the above, but is that my "definition",

what is more important to me, to have my PhD and bright career and my dream of being such a successful scientist, is that it?
or as one of the characters in the movie said that being a house wife can be your choice, you don't have to be dumb to be a house wife,
or is it as my mentor told me, don't get married now, you don't need it, really I don't?

So is it a choice a girl has to make, either marriage and family or a bright career,

many might say: why a choice you can have both,

who are you fooling, are you kidding yourself, no one has both,
I am not saying a job, I am not talking about having a career,
I am talking about a "bright" career,

I remember I was once told by a guy, I am too ambitious to settle down and get married,

All of this just made me want to decide once and for all, do I want to get into a relationship and compromise my "bright" career, and settle for a just a job,

do I live for my work, or do I work for living, (sort of do we eat to live, or live to eat analog)

The last 10 years of my life, I have lived to work, study and learn,
I had fun, don't get me wrong, my life wasn't anywhere near dull or boring,

but I had no plans other than being the top of my class for 5 consecutive years of my college study, then excelling in exams to get accepted in USA universities, then proving myself in USA with their tough courses , and finally coping with the lab work and excelling in what I do.

When I was 9 years old, and in a girls talk, I said, I will never leave my child once I have him/her, I will quit working and take care of my family,
years later when I was 15 years old, I was away with my dad, and it was summer and I was the "house lady" (my mum was away) I used to wait for my dad for hours he'd call and say he's on his way home, but comes so late, that I keep on re heating dinner, several times. That day I decided, I will certainly work and have a career of my own , I can't wait for some guy reheating food even if I love him, it would be too much of a sacrifice.

Now at the age of 27, I wonder which girl was right, and I wonder if I will ever have time and energy to get married,

to be continued...

Memphis Downtown is on Fire

2006-10-06T06:16:00.000-05:00

Waking up at 5:00 Am for a quick breakfast before I start fasting at 5:36 AM (and yes, I do use the very final last 6 minutes :)),
with the TV on to keep me company, and there it's:
downtown fires, first thing that came to my mind WHERE?

Three buildings or more, with the fire starting in First United Methodist church on N. 2nd street, the fire spread to other buildings one of which is a big tower, which is going now with fire all over, it looks as a big ball of fire.

Living in downtown myself, actually just at the "borders" between midtown and downtown, I was alarmed, although the sound of fire alarms and sirens is a common thing to hear any time of day or night.
Second thing that came to my mind is to look out and see from the balcony as the news said that Memphis Airport can see the fire, ofcourse I saw nothing from the balcony:(
Then I thought about calling my friend who lives just off 3rd street, poor thing she just moved there a few months ago, and she was so happy that she will be living in downtown with all the excitement, well that is too much excitement I guess.

But as usual, all Egyptians are fine, "el masryeen bekher"

Life is so short

2006-09-27T22:18:00.000-05:00

Life is so short.

A young post doctoral fellow in our department passed away last week, so peacefully in his apartment. He had no diseases (any that is known to all of us).

He just passed away.

A few days before his death, a single thought had been haunting me:
LIFE IS SHORT
Why bother, why fight for silly materialistic things in life.

Nothing is worth it.

And then ask why people are violent?

2006-09-17T13:34:00.000-05:00

The new playstation ads are on TV, very violent try to watch it (Black or God of War)*, ratings of the God of War**

Ads on some sort of gums, and the ad says that the guy will have to share with his friends his gum. In order to solve this, he simply tears the shirt of his friend, throws the other friend's bag on the floor, and takes away his third friend candy and throw it away. The ad ends by saying now he doesn't have to worry (implying he has no friends, so he has the whole thing for himself).

This is not the only ad like this, these kind of ads are all over the TV not only in the USA, it's back home in Egypt, the concept of individuality and fighting over possessing things, and above all use of violence to obtain materialistic things.

what is expected from those who watch such an ad, not only children, also adults (although effect on adults is much less than a child).

Some may argue saying we all were raised with such violence around us, and we are no killers, and we are not violent. I don't think so, we all have our violence somewhere deep inside of us, viewing such things on media, repeatedly, makes them float to the surface.
The expression of violence doesn't have to be killing people with a gun, it probably will be reflected in your attitude towards others, aggressiveness, or taking it on those you have power over, like your subordinates , or someone who is misfortune enough to be needing something from you!

I know there are many other factors, and psychologist would surely know better, but I still believe this is a very important factor that we can't deny.

* these sites have a waringing asking for your date of birth, as it's not suitable for all viewers!!
** mature 17+, blood and gore, intense violence, nudity, sexual themes, strong language.

Hello my new friend

2006-09-12T19:51:00.000-05:00

My boss is observing that I am being more calm and realistic instead of being all the time nervous and tense and all the time stressed out, as I have been running crazy for the last few months.
She doesn't know that I have a new friend in my life.
Her presence in my life made alot of difference.
First of all we have totally different ideas, background, and personalities.

What we have in common?
Nothing!

But for some reason she keeps on helping me relax and unwind, and I keep on helping her in setteling down (she just came to USA) and keep her company. It's sort of win-win situation but the most beautiful part about it, is that we (at least I don't and I believe she doesn't either) think about it as win-win, we think about it as a simple pure friendship.
I am writing this although I know she thinks that blogging is a waste of time, better eat, drink, or do something, pray or listen to Koran.
She just walked in on me right now and said, work instead of this!!!

Funny, so different worlds, but perfect harmony.

Thank you God for my new Friend.

Have a smile...

2006-08-27T21:36:00.000-05:00

El messa has the following headline:

مؤشرات تنسيق الأزهر :1% زيادة في الحد الأدني للقبول بّليات القمةالطب% 98 الأسنان والصيدلة% 96 الهندسة %19

I kept on laughing for a while, remembered "baghel" instead of "na3el" of the famous play of the late Abdel monem Madbollee..

Guilt feeling recipe

2006-07-08T13:55:00.000-05:00

What makes you feel guilty?
What is the importance of guilt feeling?
Does it make you repent and forgive yourself?
Does it make you feel worse?
How can you forgive yourself when you can't tell if God forgave you?
But isn't it He who said I am the forgiving?

I did a simple search online, and I counted how many times in Quran the words:
forgiveness (searched with the root of the word غفر) and
revenge (also using the root نقم), were mentioned,
here is the ratio,
forgive: revenge is 201:16

Then, I did the same thing searching in the Bible (searching the New international version) the ratio of:
forgive: revenge is 116:11

The point that I am trying to make is:

Why many people are afraid of God's punishment and that he will "revenge" as some preachers like to say it, more than thinking about his forgiveness and love?
I will not lie, and say I don't fear Him.
No, I do fear his punishment, and for a while I forgot about his mercy and forgiveness.
But then, I remember how He always says He is forgiving and waiting for those who repent.

Let me tell you what a guilt feeling can drive somebody to do,
Picture this,
A young girl (teenager) listening to the punishment of her little soul because of the sins she made!! She didn't even know HOW to commit one,
The preacher is talking about hell, and how bad it is.
This teenager thinks she is a big sinner, just from the way he made every single movement a sin, walking down the street, her body, her looks, her laugher, her voice, even her smile, and some take it to the next level where any activity that doesn't involve being with God.
what does that mean? I don't know what this preacher means.
We are all in the presence of God, He is there ALL the time. Whether we pray, play or sleep, He is watching, and it's sometimes hard to imagine, but that's true.

You know what a teenager would think, may be stay home, and wait for death to come by, or wear a khema "nekab" and hide yourself from all others. I won't argue about what "clothes" to wear or not to wear, as definitely this is a personal choice, although some may argue against that, but when more girls are wearing this nekab, it must be they are hiding, afraid to be "fetna" to be a source of "sin" by seeing her innocent face, which she is convinced is a "fetna".
Of course there is more to that issue, but as far as I have seen, and lived, that's what I observed.

Finally, He says to ask Him for forgiveness and He shall forgive.

I wonder when will such preaching come to an end.....

Implosion 2

2006-06-26T21:48:00.000-05:00

Implosion is the word that might describe what I see after observing myself over the last year.

I was someone, and became somebody else,
all the stuff I never gave much thought, I now do.

I did most of the things I once thought were not appropriate for me,

observing me changing sometimes gives me a chill of fear that I will not recognize myself any more.

I don't feel myself changing, I mean everyday, I don't wake up saying today I will change this and that,
yet at times I observe the change, is this me? I sometimes don't know,

My family when I went back home for a short visit said: you changed. I didn't see it then, but sometimes it flashes by my eyes, yes I did change,

I have always been the same way, but hiding behind lots of things, when my environment changed, all my inhibitions were lost and I let out, yet a lot is going to get out, this is not the end of it I can feel it.

sometimes I feel I'll regret changing one day when I am old and grumpy in that wheel chair with my grandchild pushing me around and wondering how old her/his grandma is and how she looked when she was younger, was she beautiful one day?

Wow, that would be so sad, cause I wondered the same thing with my grandma, was she a beautiful lady some time before, then I saw her picture in the year book of her school, she asked me to pin point her, I couldn't, and I picked a wrong person, she pointed to her self, Oh my God, how beautiful she was, ofcourse it had been 70 years before.

I can't = I won't

2006-06-02T16:43:00.000-05:00

This is me talking to myself, and confusing both of them!

"So I have been running away from you, hiding behind: I can't,
I am always afraid of something, anything, just to have that fear around me, paralyzing my thinking, then I panic, and cry, then insist that I can't face you,

but finally I did it, I finally understood, that I can't = I won't, and if I believe that I can, then I will.

Talking with you gave me my strength back, I love you and I never stopped, may be I went away for a while, may be I will go away again, I am not sure, but now when I am close to you, or at least trying to be close to you, I am all here for you. "

Love so right

2006-05-19T23:45:00.000-05:00

The Bee Gees sang this song long ago,
the words are so touching, and it kept coming to me tonight...

"And the perfect story ended at the start
I thought you came forever and you came to break my heart
Now I'm hanging on, on the chance that you'll come back to me
How a love so right can turn out to be so wrong, oh my darling
I could take it in my stride
Start living for the moment
Maybe half the things we sought were never there
Simply open up our eyes and break it down to size
It isn't really fair"

________________________________________
artist: Bee Gees
title: Love So Right
albums: Children Of The World, Here At Last, Their Greatest Hits: The Record
lyrics from lyrics.info

My name

2006-05-19T21:07:00.000-05:00

This might seem weird to some, but all my life I sort of hated my name.

It has been strange to everyone in Egypt, and when I came to United States, it still was. I always have to repeat it more than once for anyone to catch it right.

Then, I met someone special and he made me fall in love with my name. After the usual question of what it means, and me being bored of saying it's Turkish meaning "the Bright Sun light", but somehow, he made me feel how beautiful and unique my name is, and for the first time in my life I took pride in my name.

Tonight I met some people, I introduced myself, surprisingly I didn't have to pronounce my name twice, as they got it correct.

I discovered that I have always pronounced it quickly and sort of bored as I always expected people not to know how to pronounce it...
tonight I said it clearly with a smile, and there was the magic, they got it from the first time right.

A talk with me about Him

2006-05-17T22:21:00.000-05:00

Do i want to go back???

I don't know if i went away in the first place...

Wait, i actually wonder if i was there in the first place...

I don't know anymore,
I was, I wasn't, may be, may be not....

He is waiting, or may be i will be too late for Him to take me back, or may be not...

I once wondered why do people go away from Him...
but now i wonder, what is being close to Him?

A brief talk with HIM

2006-05-15T12:14:00.000-05:00

Will HE take me back...
Yes HE will, the question is do you really want to go back to Him?

Mouse chase...

2006-05-11T16:32:00.000-05:00

Today, I had a hysterical mouse chase...

It was too much fun with everyone screaming, and running corner to corner, getting a long ruler to make noise to scare the poor little thing out, he was so scared , and he was afraid not knowing what to do!

Finally we got him trapped in a corner, he can't run now, a colleague got a box to get him if he comes out from one side, me on the other side waiting for him. He is hiding behind a huge, heavy cylinder, another colleague tries to move the heavy cylinder the third one is on the floor looking where the mouse is, and screaming don't let the cylinder down he is right underneath it.
she grabs a ruler and makes noise to scare him, he looks out but is afraid and goes back, suddenly he is right in my hands, I try to grab his tail, the little devil bites me I scream but I keep on holding him and trying to get his tail, then he bites again real hard, then I scream "come here you son of a bitch", all the lab is like huh, she never curses, well I did!!

Diamonds....Best girl's friend

2006-05-09T01:15:00.000-05:00

Are Diamonds really a girl's best friend?

Well I never liked gold, but I always liked pearls, and diamonds.
Of course it's easier and cheaper to get good pearls than diamonds. Especially with all the qualifications and specifications that you have to look for in a diamond.

Lately I have been looking up diamonds rings, then I wondered.... Anyone can fool you with any stone saying it's diamond, how could you tell.
But wait there is certified diamonds, with numbers engraved on it with laser so that you know that's YOUR diamond. But would anyone in a party look closely enough to know if YOUR diamond is REAL!!... doubt it.

Closer

2006-05-09T01:12:00.000-05:00

Those who love at first sight are traitors at every glance.

Tagline from movie Closer (didn't see the movie yet, but seems that i will soon)

Does Happiness run? .....Hope so

2006-01-25T22:44:00.000-06:00

On an airline commercial this song was used as a background of their world-wide services, it gives a feeling of joy to listen to it, I couldn't find it to listen for it for free, but these are the lyrics,
I hope that happiness runs

Little pebble upon the sand
Now you're lying here in my hand
how many years have you been here?
little human upon the sand
from where I'm lying here in your hand
you to me are but a passing breeze
the sun will always shine where you stand
depending in which land
you may find yourself
Now you have my blessing go your way
happiness runs in a circular motion
thought is like a little boat upon the sea
everybody is a part of everything anyway
you can have everything if you let yourself be
happiness runs happiness runs

Donovan Leitch (British folk)
Happiness runs
(from theBarabajagal album August 1969)

High heels كعب عالى

2006-01-22T13:43:00.000-06:00

Why on earth would a sane human being torture himself?

Who was the first to invent high heels, and was crazy enough to wear them?

interestingly enough it was a man and it was for men, not women.

So, no conspiracy here, but women, some how, liked the way it made their body look and that they felt it made them more sexy, so they wore high heels, and generation after generation for some it became part of being a female.

I have worn high heels before, but only in few occasions and for very few hours, probably because I am already average tall, or for some I am tall (170 cm). Therefore, I usually wear flats, sneakers, flip flops or less than 2" heels rather than high heels.

A friend of mine convinced me to buy a high heel boots, I liked them, I wore them a couple of times no problem, but to wear them for a two consecutive days from morning to night, working, walking and even running in them, that was a first for me.

"Hey you, that was my feet talking to me, I can't take this anymore,
I am swollen, and tired, I will give you a lot of pain if you don't take me out of these things, why on earth do you hate me, what did I do for you except support you for my whole life and taking you places, and now you punish me with this, you are putting all your body weight on my toes and I am not happy with this, take this,

awoo I exclaimed,

yeah now you feel the pain I am in, take this, my feet said

aohish, stop it,

no you better take me out of this shoes

ok I am going home stop it,

not until you get me out of these boots,

okay, okay, how about this, I will take them off can you drive bare,

it's okay with me, just get me out of them.

There are you happy,

better but that's not enough, here you go more pain,

okay, how about a hot bath,

yeah,

how about a massage

yes, yes,

okay how about this a Dr Scholl's special foot scrub and massage,

now you are talking,

okay how about a long sleep,

yup you finally got it. "

Now I made peace with my feet, but I am going to have another fight soon, I will wear the high heels again, yes I am insane!!

Here is some problems caused by high heels from Wikipedia:

"High-heeled shoes cant the foot forward and down while bending the toes up. This unnatural position, if continued without variation, will cause the Achilles tendon to shorten, causing problems when the wearer chooses lower heels, flats, or walking barefoot. When the foot cants forward, a disproportionately greater amount of the wearer's weight is transferred to the ball of the foot, increasing likelihood of damage to the underlying soft tissue which supports the foot."

And

My Michelle D 3" boots or my feet's enemy!!

Arrest of a man who threatened Bush's life!!

2006-01-13T23:10:00.000-06:00

Wow I thought that was a joke when I heard it over the radio, then I googled it up,

Oh my, a man really threatened to kill Bush

he sent some letters or something, he was arrested and he is on trial.

Amusingly enough another guy also threatened Bush,

~~mahee ya maltashah ba2a~~, and was convicted.

What a hilarious news, this kind of news that just makes you laugh, at least it made me laugh.

Big girls don't cry

2005-11-27T23:34:00.000-06:00

How many of you have heard these words?

whether you are the girl being told these words, or
the one telling them or
a guy who heard about them, or
actually a guy whose society doesn't think of as a man unless he doesn't cry.

Mothers, and parents generally, think they'll raise a strong, independent kid if they tell them those words. Sorry folks, you are wrong.

Why is crying considered a sign of weakness, rather than sensitivity?

For all those who were denied to cry in their early or late childhood, let it out, and cry.

to be continued.......

Implosion......Is it too late??

2005-11-16T22:47:00.000-06:00

Is it too late to post something that happened a week and a half ago?

Late or not, I am writing this so I can always remember the details of the event, although how I felt is something that I don't think I will forget.

It was a novel experience for me to watch live a building being imploded. I was excited to see something that previously I could only watch on TV.
A big fancy tent near where I live (only for VIP) was prepared a day before the implosion, a big stage, tables, chairs,.....etc, as it's the best place to watch the implosion, so I decided to go and watch just outside the tent. Although I had to get up at 6:00 am, on a Sunday morning I was still going.

So there I was, an eye witness of the implosion of a historical hospital in Memphis, a hospital where the King, Elvis Presley died.
First, there was long speeches, I got bored, it's 6:30 am, the Sun is almost rising, when are they going to start, I was sleepy I couldn't stand any longer so, I sat on the ground, although it was cold grass. I was growing impatient, I wanted to see the implosion. Then, someone from the crowd told me that they'll blow it up at sunrise at exactly 6:45am, to signify the sunrise of the future research area and the progress that will come after tearing down the building, hmm... That sounds romantic. Finally it was 6:45am, everyone is counting down:" five, four, three, two , one,....." then.....silence, and suddenly a very loud sound of bombing and light out of the windows of the old building, the ground was vibrating, I stood up as the vibrations were too much for someone sitting on the ground, the building came down in just a few seconds.......then the crowd was cheering.......I cheered a little with them, the dust was so heavy and all over the place where the building used to be........
For me it was a terrifying, may be terrifying is not the right word, but I can't get the right word to express how I felt then, but the only thing I know is that I will remember that strange feeling I had although I can't find a word for it.

The last sunrise on Baptist hospital

The LOUD sounds could only be heard and felt...

Dying while standing, collapsing inwardly.

Gone with the wind............

A message to whom might read this,

if you have suggestions for what you might feel if you watched this live, share them with me, may be one of them describes what words can't say.

Dreams..........

2005-11-14T14:44:00.000-06:00

Nothing solid is known about dreams, lots of studies, lots of efforts to understand what are dreams, how they affect us, and even where are we while dreaming? Are we soul and body in bed or our souls are in that fairly land of dreams, what do we do, are we floating souls like one of my friends likes to call herself while dreaming, is it the unconscious mind releasing free, is it the mind getting rid of the events of the day to have space for new material, all these were proposed and of course Freud and dreams which he called the "royal road to the unconscious", provided the best access to our unconscious life and the best illustration of its "logic", which was different than the logic of conscious thought.
For me I regard dreams as merely dreams, something I enjoy, sometimes when I crave for some sort of food I get it in my dreams, if I saw a couple of movies and I liked them a totally "Nourtan's" version is on my "dream screen", my brother loved my dreams he always said they are good scripts for movies.

Yesterday was a long tiring day for me, I wanted to go to sleep but I was lying in bed but not sleepy yet, too tired to sleep. I went into short sleep where my mom was there, I was lying on the same bed I am in, I know she is so far away, but she came to my bed, slept next to me, gave me a hug, I felt her warmth and tenderness, and rocked me gently to sleep. I woke up shortly after this dream, realized I was dreaming, but I was ready to go to sleep. Thanks mum.....The dream was beautiful.

Preparing for Eid with my Zoroastrian roommate

2005-10-30T01:28:00.000-06:00

Zoroastrian.....What does that mean?
My roommate from Russia, that's all I know about her, she is working here, seems to be a hard worker, devoted to her work and we had several conversations all were commenting on movies we watch together or food that we cook differently but all what I can see was a nice Russian lady, funny and amusing to talk to.
Today, I was tired, so I asked her to accompany me to an Arabic store as I wanted to get some sweets for Eid (كحك). At the store, she recognized lots of the food there, she told me she was originally form Georgia, raised there before moving to Moscow. In Georgia they have lots of food from Turkey and that they were under Ottoman rule for a long time.
We kept on talking on our way back home, she then told me that she was from a place that was non-Muslim, non-Christian, because they lived up high in the mountains, no one could reach them, so they could keep their religion away from the "new" religions. I wondered what was that religion, she said a word I totally couldn't understand... Zaratustra, at least that's the best I could pronounce. I asked her to explain as I don't know the meaning of the word. From what she said, the first thing that came to my mind was على الزبيق and how Delilah (Lila Fouzee) was a worshiper of fire, wanted to take over the country from the weak Wali (viceroy). So I looked it up, Wow, this is really an old religion, and they don't worship fire,... how ignorant I am.

Zoroastrianism....زردشتية

Founded way back in 1800 BC by prophet Zoroaster,who lived in Persia. After reading about it for a while, the part I liked was: "Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds", simple way of living, who would say any different words. He called God "Ahura Mazda" honestly I don't know what that means, but it's like the beginning and end as far as I read about it. Another concept or principle they have that I really liked was that humans are responsible for all situations they are in and in the way they act to one another, although I still believe in destiny and God's Will over our actions, this is more into that we are free to choose as God gave us minds to choose, either we do this or that is our choice, otherwise it would be as if we are part of a play us being the puppets! (at least that was my impression as a kid at school when the religion teacher was saying God knows every action you are about to make, well yeah and no, yes because He created me, yet no because He gave me choice, and finally I don't know والله أعلم) I don't think I am capable of talking about this interesting Old religion in one post, may be I can try to write again soon.
more on Zoroastrianism or Mazdaism

عقدة الخواجة

2005-10-20T23:56:00.000-05:00

Today I received a books catalog from ASM press (American Society for Microbiology), while going through it, I found a book that deals with my previous masters project in Egypt, a project that i never finished as I only started it before coming to the States to study for my PhD.
I found myself smiling, how attractive it sounds now, when I heard it the first time in Cairo it sounded so dull and boring,I think it must be عقدة الخواجة

Ebn Bessah and me

2005-09-28T00:30:00.000-05:00

Tonight, after the closing hours of Starbucks, I found myself studying on the street lights outside the Cafe, so I remembered Ebn Bessah.....
Who is he? All i know about him is the following:
My mother used to tell me about him, she never met the guy either, but her father told her about him. He was the son of Bessah, a woman who used to work as an assistant in my great grandfather's farm in Menyat Saedan, Mansourah.
Ebn Bessah, being a poor kid, but loved to study, used to study on the oven in winter nights and also in hot summer nights, and when he joined the Universtiy in Cairo, as he was such a brilliant guy, he studied on the street lights because he had to save money or actually he had none to spare.

I wonder what was his name and where did he end up?

The Sound of Silence

2005-09-26T22:42:00.000-05:00

Paul Simon 1964

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls."
And whisper'd in the sounds of silence.

- Paul Simon -
"Wednesday Morning 3A.M.", 1964
To listen to the song: The Sound of Silence (best opened with Winamp)

Viewers discretion is advised!

2005-09-26T04:24:00.000-05:00

Did you ever get that weird feeling of you're going to be up all night and lose your mind by the morning, as you know you have along day ahead of you, and you'll not get enough sleep as you have to wake up early and study,then go to work? I had too much coffee today, I guess i shouldn't have had that third cup of coffee, and the fourth cup of tea, especially if it's a starbucks' coffee, and tea!
Now i can't sleep, neither can i study anymore, can't do anything, listening to Bahaa Sultan songs and Samira Saed, just it's very fast, matching the hyper state i am in from coffee.
To make it worse, none of my friends is online, so I am writing!

Why am i writing this?
Honestly, I don't know, may be just killing time until I fall asleep.

But wait, this raises a number of questions,
1- This might sound a little crazy, but what is a blog? what is the meaning ie aim of blogging?

a.Is it a diary?

b.Is it an open forum for opinions?

c.Is it a place to kill time?

d.Is it public-journal/forum on the internet?

2- Should it be organized or spontanouse thoughts?

3- What is the etiquette of weblogging? if there is any?

4- Is the use of foul words eg in Ebles and others inappriopriate?

5- But What and who determines what is appriopriate and what is not?

6- Would it be rated "R" for strong language, with children and sensitive viewers discretion advised?

Oops, did you get disappionted that the title was so attractive but the post had no foul words!
Hard luck! تتعوض

How Powerful is eBlogger?

2005-09-18T16:03:00.000-05:00

How can you measure how powerful or let's say influencing a site is? This occurred to me this morning while I was waiting for Wikipedia's page to return after being down, the site gave me a choice of redirecting me to another page "to spend the time" till the page comes back. The page was for traffic ranking and it compared wikipedia.com to slashdot.com, showing how wikipedia was way more used (visited) than slashdot.com.

Wikipepedia is always in Blue and the site to be compared with is in red, if image too smal, click for a larger view.

Wikipedia vs Slahdot

I wanted to try to see Wikipedia versus Google, Oops, Google surely won,

then I tried against Yahoo, still yahoo won,

then I tried against Merriam-Webster Online dictionary, Ahha, Wikipedia won.

Then it occured to me, what about eBlogger, whom do you think won this time?
here is the result:

Wikipedia vs eBlogger

So, how can one have an approximate measure of the site being infleuntial, and read this funny article i also found and sorry for the language!

Which religion is the right one for you?

2005-08-27T03:50:00.000-05:00

My friend Dr R sent me a link to a new quiz at the quizfarm, "Which religion is the right one for you?" it was relatively easier than the previous one.

Does it matter what is your religion?

Let me see:

When I was a kid the very first question other kids would ask you is: what is your religion? They might not ask it in a direct way, they might pull up some old tricks to know your religion! What next, nothing, they just want to know, nothing further! I always thought that was weird.
That was not the case in college; it was weirder. I was in a college where most students were Christians, well at least that what it seemed like to me, I can't confirm this until I return to my yearbook and make some statistics. Any way, they would be OK with me (my name has no religious inferences) for the first few days until Oops, she is a Muslim, and it's have a nice time somewhere else! Of course they don't say it directly but I can tell you how many different ways you can get the message of "you are not welcome in this group anymore". Only one deviated, she used to go on and talk to me, exchange notes, ...etc, but then she stopped as she felt/or was told that she was not supposed to do so.
Well of course I found myself another group to hang out with but that was the most extreme thing I have ever seen in my life. For, I had Christian friends from elementary until high school, they never "dumped" someone because he wasn't of the same religion, similarly for Muslim friends at school.

Then I came to USA, I had more experiences with religion.

I was a Muslim in a State that is in the Bible belt. Let me explain to you what the "Bible belt" is: "an area including a number of Midwestern and southern states in the United States in which fervent Evangelical Protestantism is a pervasive part of the culture" (wikipedia) or another definition "The term Bible Belt refers to states in the Deep South plus Texas where fundamentalist and evangelical Christianity is taken very seriously."(life in USA). In simple words, that means, these are religious people that try to follow the Bible as far as possible, with a little bit over doing it (at least in my opinion). For instance, one of the things I noticed is, when you open the TV you have at least four channels (or may be more on Cable TV) talking about Christ, Salvation, Bible stories, Words of God,...... etc. No other religion is on TV; most programs are somehow related to religion. I first thought, "well may be that's normal, I mean I come from a Muslim country, we have religious programs too and some religious channels on Cable". I was surprised as I have been to the other States before (mainly in the North and East coast) and there wasn't much emphasis on religion. So, I talked to an American friend, she's from a Northern state, she said religion is more emphasized here in Tennessee! Even an Egyptian Christian friend of mine, when I was surprised how conservative people are in this state, simply said, "welcome to the Bible belt”. Wow it's not only me noticing. Those people take religion pretty seriously.

Another totally different but really interesting experience was my "no religion" roommates. First I thought they don't believe in God, so what, may be they'll figure it out later. But I was wrong they believe in a Higher Power, and in many different stories that I learn from them gradually day by day. It's amazing; they reject all religions, yet they can take something from each religion. I really admire them. The funny thing is, I heard more than once from different people, "why don't you try to convert them into Islam?" I was shocked, these are human beings with free will, and are all adults, they can choose their own way of living, and above all their religion. You don't recruit people to religion, it's God who will guide them to Himself, or as it's best said in Quran, (translation of the meaning in English: you can try to guide people to God, but it's only God who will help them to follow Him.)

Now, after my long talk, What do you think? Does the religion of other people matters that much to you?

Ps. My quiz results were:

You scored as Islam. Your beliefs are most similar to those of Islam. Do more research on Islam and possibly consider taking the shahadah and officially becoming a Muslim, if you aren't already.

Despite the actions of some - who go against the teachings of Islam - Islam is a religion of peace; the word "islam" means "peace through submission to God." "Muslim" means "one who submits to God." Islam is the third of the three Abrahamic faiths, and it shares much with Judaism in Christianity; its differences are the acceptance of Muhammad as the last and final prophet, and the oneness of God - in other words, that Jesus, though he was a revered prophet, was not in fact God, and only one God exists. Apparently the Taliban could not read (though their name means "students"), because the Qur'an states that men and women are equal as believers, and that all believers should be educated and seek knowledge. Modesty in dress and behavior is required in Islam for both men and women to preserve the values of society and move the emphasis from superificial appearance to intelligence, knowledge, and God.

Islam

88%

Judaism

58%

Buddhism

54%

Paganism

54%

Satanism

42%

agnosticism

33%

Christianity

29%

Hinduism

atheism

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

You can try for yourself this quiz at the link above.

Funny, relative things in life!

2005-08-24T01:07:00.000-05:00

Although I have just read about 7 or more posts(R,AZ, Ebles,Socrates, alfares, wa7ed mn masr, Mohammed Gamal) on women "rights",etc...and I am a woman but i am not going to talk about it, just because this is one of the many relative things in life, are you a minority, are your rights taken away?... for me those are relative things, just like my old friend form college used to go on for hours on the phone before exams, we'll never make it, the professors children (sons and daughters as i like to call them as the old British series on the Egyptian T.V). She never attempted to get high grades, she thought what's the use, they get highest grades for both oral and practical exams. I didn't care, so what they get higher grades, but suddenly one year i got higher grades than the daughter of the head of the department in his syllabus (of course he didn't put the exam questions but she got ALL the help they/his collgues and students could give, but hehe i got higher grades, so what again i said, i just study, higher or lower grades doesn't matter.
Very long introduction, any way that was THE point i wanted to say, it's how you feel about things in life that matters, i could have always kept in mind that i'll never get higher grades because i am not the daughter of a professor in my college but i didn't care, so it was no more an issue for me.
You can argue saying "that's not true for everything in life" but still things are relative, if you are interested read Relativism
Finally my solgan in life (for the current moment :) )
Life is a state of mind.

Lazy Learner

2005-07-31T19:58:00.000-05:00

I am lazy enough to put again some wise words, this time it's about learning. I came across these words today in one of my many breaks while I was working. My new post will be ready soon with why I started this whole blogging thing!

"Learning is the best of all wealth. It is easy to carry. Thieves cannot steal it. Neither fire nor water can destroy it, and far from decreasing, it increases with giving" Anonymous

Why

2005-07-23T15:30:00.000-05:00

Today I was going to write about going back to Memphis TN, USA after a vacation in Egypt.It was going to be about my feelings for going between two places that I love I even chose the title: Torn between two lovers, an old song that I've always liked.

Suddenly there it was, bombing in Sharm el Sheikh. A place that is so close to my heart: my last vacation in Egypt with my family. We wanted to spend time together before I go to study in USA. I remember Naema Bay, the most beautiful place I have ever seen. Less than a year ago, my brother and his wife spent their honey moon in the very same place that the bombing occurred "Gazalah Hotel" . My sister-in-law started crying when she saw the news. She remembered each and every place there. My brother joined her and began shouting, "Wageh, Wageh, his office, his desk,...." Wageh is the hotel manager, a friend of my brother.

72 or more dead, and the place is ruined.

WHY, just Why??

Taking the quiz

2005-07-13T16:11:00.000-05:00

I read about these quizzes everywhere around the bloggers and I was curious to find out what is my World view?. The questions were difficult to answer mainly because of language barriers for me, I had to refer to wikipedia (Online Encyclopedia) for almost every question to get a true answer, though I answered there is no truth. Anyway I enjoyed taking this quiz, it was enlightening. It was strange that I was both Cultural Creative and modernist! (strange because they seem to be contradicting)

Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative

94%

Modernist

94%

Postmodernist

88%

Idealist

69%

Materialist

38%

Existentialist

38%

Romanticist

31%

Fundamentalist

What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

Wise words

2005-07-13T13:47:00.000-05:00

The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.
Bertrand Russell